iggy azalea mo bounce review
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Iggy Azalea – ‘Mo Bounce’ Review

1/10

Iggy Azalea, a.k.a. Amethyst Amelia Kelly, a.k.a. Ms from-Sydney-but-raps-like-from-Atlanta, a.k.a. two and a half-star album review from Rolling Stone, released her new song, ‘Mo Bounce’ (I’ve decided not to even write about the name), on 23 March, and boy, is it bad.

There’s no fucking about, for a start. The track ‘drops’ (I use the term extremely loosely) about 20 seconds in—that is, after 20 seconds of the sonic equivalent of excrement. Shall I recount the lyrics for you?

Mo bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
Bounce in the motherfuckin’ house
Mo bounce in the motherfuckin’ house
Bounce, b-bounce, bounce, mo bounce
Mo, mo-mo bounce, b-bounce, bounce
Bounce in the motherfuckin’ house
Mo bounce in the motherfuckin’ house
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
Bounce, bounce, bounce
Bounce in the motherfuckin’ house
Mo bounce in the motherfuckin’ house
Bounce, b-bounce, bounce, b-bounce
Bounce, b-bounce, bounce
Bounce in the motherfuckin’ house, bounce
Mo bounce in the motherfuckin’ house

Bars.

Then, incorrigibly, the verses begin. For a woman who describes Tupac Shakur as the musician who sparked her love for music and inspired her to start writing, she certainly does produce some truly abhorrent lyrics. Take ‘Everybody got opinions, yeah, like assholes/You ain’t gotta worry ’bout those, ’cause they assholes’. There are so many problems with these two seemingly innocuous lines I can barely figure out where to begin. For a start, ‘asshole’ and ‘asshole’ don’t rhyme, they’re just the same fucking word. Also, ‘Everybody got opinions, yeah, like assholes’, is perhaps the most execrably detestable lyrical platitude since Bryan Adams wrote ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It For You’. (N.B., it’s arsehole, which is how the Australians spell it too.)

And the production. It’s simply relentless in how catastrophically terrible it is. There’s absolutely no variation for almost the whole song, and it relies on the tired clichés of the house and trap music that has been ruling popular music for at least the last five years. Listening to this track five times over in the process of writing this review made me want to destroy my speakers in much the same way as this angry young gentleman does just simply to make it stop.

And, of course, there’s the monstrosity that is the single’s artwork, which of course shows Ms bench-her-dil-like-do-like-dasher squatting down in barely anything with her cataclysmically large arse (not ass) visible due to a strategically placed mirror. Because, you know, if you can’t make good music, just sell it with sex, right?

Frankly, it’s an embarrassment to humanity that this talentless joke of a musician won the Best Rap Artist award at the AMAs. ‘Mo Bounce’ has the honour of being eternally placed as #5 in my top five worst songs of all time.

FYI, James Alston’s worst songs of all time:

  1. ‘Anaconda’ – Nicki Minaj
  2. ‘Friday’ – Rebecca Black
  3. ‘Cotton-Eyed Joe’ – Rednex
  4. ‘Hype ft. Dizzee Rascal’ – Calvin Harris
  5. ‘Mo Bounce’ – Iggy Azalea

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